@david_tull: Married with Children was much funnier on TV.
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@GrantTanaka: [calls home] son: hello me: hi, put mom on the phone son: I can't me: why son: she's too heavy
@kaz474: Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
@Reverend_Scott: My favorite oxymorons: 1. Jumbo shrimp. 2. Act natural. 3. Boneless ribs. 4. Civil war. 5. Freezer burn. 6. Adult male. 7. Happy marriage.