@david_tull: Married with Children was much funnier on TV.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pattymo: *cocks shotgun* I asked you a question: in order to ride a pug would you rather be shrunk to its size or have it grown to your size
@lloydrang: 1970s: "Hey baby" 1990s: "Hey babe" 2014: "Hey bae" 2020: "Hey b" 2030: "All hail our glorious squirrel overlords"
@Smug_Lemur: *at psychic reading* Psychic: you probably think you're wasting your time Me: Ooh you're good
@OtherDanOBrien: *Lady gives balloon to my son* ME: What do u say? SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you