@david_tull: Married with Children was much funnier on TV.
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@ReneeHooray: Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day.
@Xoolun: I was pissed when I dropped my iPhone in the toilet. Not as pissed as the girl I was trying to take pics of though.
@Dani_Feld: What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich? What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth?
@online_shawn: Pardon the mess, the dog startled me and I threw my shrimp scampi into the ceiling fan