@david_tull: Married with Children was much funnier on TV.
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@CallousBalzac: Boss: How is the project coming along? Me:*closing browser of sick kick flip videos* Totally rad...icalizing our sales data analysis, Sir.
@MagsWoodward: I'm beginning to think my best chance of fame is if someone names a syndrome after me.
@BetteMidler: Congratulations to Janet Jackson for having a baby at age 50! When I was 50, I wasn’t even strong enough to push a child out of my way.
@AtticusFinch79: [November 2030] *at the ocean* "don't forget your oil block, 800 spf sunblock and your radiation suits" Kids: This fish has three heads