@david_tull: Married with Children was much funnier on TV.
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@philmann: DAD GUIDE ON HOW TO WATCH A MOVIE: 1) put on a movie 2) don't watch it 3) read a book 4) every time something happens ask what happened
@weinerdog4life: Date Tip: If a date is going well, a series of loud hoots will scare off other suitors
@WhaJoTalkinBout: For someone who said "Correct me if I'm wrong..." you seemed genuinely surprised and upset when I did.
@AnkCoupleTO: I tried hypnotizing my wife but *cluck* I think *cluck cluck* something went wrong is that *cluck cluck cluck* corn on the ground?