@SteussieErica: Marry the person who looks at you the way a Labrador looks at a tennis ball...obsessed, slightly crazed and probably drooling a little.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@girl_a_whirl: *doorbell rings, I open door* Alien: Hi! Do you have a moment so I can teach you highly advanced life skills that will save your species? Me: Yes! My vacuum is making a funny noise. Could you look at it? Alien calls back to mothership: Can't I just vaporize her?
@ValeeGrrl: Wonder how long it'll take for my pregnant friend to realize that the list of baby name ideas I'm giving her are all just types of lettuce?
@TheWoodenslurpy: I thought I saw Jesus in a cookie. But I was wrong. It was just a guy who looked like him.
@PJTLynch: Ladies: To see how a guy is in bed, watch him put on a shoe. Does he just cram his foot in? Or does he lick the shoe fully then gently enter