@Marmel: Martin Shkreli in jail: "Can I have an aspirin?"
Jail: "Yes. That will be $197,000."
@Reverend_Scott: I'll take Manly Men for $500, Alex.
"Answer. These booklets of pages are a pointless waste of time."
What are instructions?
@moose_chocolate: "Clique" is a French word meaning "small group of insufferable douchebags".
@robfee: The sequel to Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is just a series of horrified people finding parts of missing kids in their chocolate bars
@InternetHippo: I would absolutely slay the dating game if looks and personality didn’t matter
@iAmDelFreaky: I hate grocery shopping. That's why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I'm getting, but it sure is faster.