@Robert_Beau: Voting was a lot more fun in the days when you got 4 snapshots for a dollar in the booth.

@Ivsy01: I like extremes. I want a nerd, but he's gotta be an extreme nerd. Like I don't even want to understand what he's talking about.

@koalaslament: the closest I've ever come to a threesome was when I was mowing the lawn and I got hit in the face by two dragonflies having sex in mid air

@eddiesnextwife: My ice maker broke and now I have to make ice, in trays. I'll be on Pinterest looking for a recipe.

@thatUPSdude: 10 bucks says Kanye signed the guest book at his own wedding.