@mofrorock: Marvel's latest movie franchise follows an aging Peter Parker as he swaps crimefighting for medical studies in Spiderman: WebMD
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@Tommytoughstuff: *Looks out the window to see it raining fire and brimstone* "Oh man my car windows are down!"
@ehdannyboy: "Dad why was I called Holly?" cos u were born at a special time of year "And me dad?" yes Summer and u too "And me too dad?" yes Easter-Egg
@rockymomax: [At bar] BARTENDER: I dont think she wants to talk man ME: [dabbing on pickle juice as cologne] I think I know what the ladies want pal
@Mikel_Jollett: Instagram: My life is a party. Snapchat: My life is a quirky tv show Facebook: My life turned out great! Twitter: We're all going to die.