@EJGomez: "Mary had a little lamb. had." -wolf
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@BCMontgo: I was going through a stack of yearbooks yesterday when I saw I was voted "Most Likely to Steal all These Damn Yearbooks".
@geowizzacist: I'm just a regular guy going for a regular jog with a regular plasma TV being chased by the regular police.
@ArfMeasures: ME: One time I was attacked by a shark REPORTER: Wow! [turns on recorder] tell us what it was like ME [leans in to mic] A massive fish
@Robert_Beau: So my doctor said my alcohol use was depleting magnesium from my body and I should change my lifestyle, so I bought a magnesium supplement.