@EJGomez: "Mary had a little lamb. had." -wolf
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@imdaintyaf: [Dog yoga class] Teacher: Alright, let's go into downward human pose [Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]
@david8hughes: "You stand accused of 3 counts of first degree murder." "Look, I'm a lot of things--" "Are you a murderer?" [bites lower lip] "Little bit."
@PaperWash: idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school
@behindyourback: I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use "sliced bread" as our basis for great inventions.