@WhaJoTalkinBout: Math is like my parenting. I do it when I have to, but I'm not great at it.
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@Home_Halfway: FLEETWOOD MAC: Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies ME: Ok. Bears always catch salmon cause they think they're saving them from drowning
@90spideypool: when you're jamming to an old-school r&b song and someone older than you ask "what you know about this?" me:
@: I collect all cell phones and iPads from the kids at night and keep them in my room. Last night those little ***holes all set alarms to go off at various times throughout the night. I’m impressed with their ingenuity and team effort. They’re all grounded.
@sofarrsogud: [TRYING TO IMPRESS NEW GIRLFRIEND] 'Oh yeah, I love to cook!' *removes salad from the microwave