@mjkspeaks: Math never tried to solve any of my problems.
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@matt___nelson: Hate your job as a calendar maker?Need a way to get fired? Easy. ( •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Just take a day off
@Ideal_Victoria: Guys love it when you rest your head on their shoulder at the movie theatre. Their girlfriends however... not so much.
@qwertying: Daughter: Dad do Zombies exist? Dad: No dear they're people wearing lots of makeup. Daughter: Oh like mommy? Dad: Close enough.