@KevinFarzad: MATH Q: 5 friends wanna split a $50 dinner. But Josh wants a separate check bc his thing was $2 less. Really, Josh? This is y nobody likes u
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@dubiousrhetoric: People: why do dogs bark at the mail man every single day Dogs: the mailman has literally never gotten in how do you not see what I'm doing
@dblackattack: It's nothing serious, we're not dating or anything, we just sometimes get brunch together, were just Friends with Benedict.
@joejwest: ME: I'm heading to the shop ROOMMATE: What are you going to get? ME: [wearing a wedding dress] Compliments