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@zachv86: i saw this homeless guy talking to himself and i was like, "who is he talking to?" then i thought "who am I talking to?"
@lecalabara: "The entire sky is mine to explore!Nah, Ill just swoop dangerously through traffic instead."- Birds
@PaperWash: [Jesus opens his fortune cookie] SOMEONE WILL BETRAY YOU "Uh oh" YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS ARE 4 2 0 6 9 "Haha nice!"
@TheHyyyype: [first date] HER: I'm really into guys with ambitions ME: *trying to impress her* that's perfect, I have two frogs