@DTelf: Even on my death bed my wife will be telling me how she had a worse day than me.

@LynneMcCarthy: What do you call a group of kids? ..... a migraine

@HatfieldAnne: We’ve all talked about throwing a dirty dish away instead of washing it. But only some of us have done it.

@imteddybless: us women should leave something 2 the imagination. for example it should always be unclear whether ur human or a mysterious glowing vapour

@AmnesiaRose: "You snooze, you lose." -competitive insomniacs