@zzoker: Mathematics is the only place you can buy 60 watermelons and no one questions you
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@katbento: Why hasn't a phone that charges itself just by scrolling the screen ever been invented? What are our scientists doing?
@bigmacher: #IHaveJustEnoughMoneyTo pay my phone bill so I can call my credit card company to tell them I don't have money to pay them.
@KizerBillhelm: It's not called "Laura the Explorer" because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI.
@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"