@TheTweetOfGod: Matthew 28, John 20. Luke 24, Mark 21. That means Matthew and Luke will meet in the finals.
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@BerrryDLite: Coworker: My arms are killing me from hoeing in my garden this weekend. Me: Thanks but I'd rather not hear about your sex life.
@ehdannyboy: *phone rings* Wife - "Quick! Pretend I'm not in!" Me - *strips naked and does running man* Wife - "...."
@drankturpentine: *a jerk swings a hammer at me but I dodge and hold up a birdhouse that was one nail shy of being completed*
@FlyJ_: I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap.