@adamrensch: Matthew McConaughay is for Matthew McConaughorses
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@darkmatter_wimp: Satan: "I'm gonna put letters in mathematics. Lol!" God: "I'm gonna make them all kill each other because of me." Satan: "Dude..."
@_knuck_: *peeing in the urinal at McDonalds* *turns to the guy peeing in the other urinal* "So, what did you order?"
@ScorpionDong: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain streaking" [pilot darts out of the cockpit completely naked]
@HeyZeus666: I don't suffer insomnia like most tweeters do. I always get a solid 7, maybe 8 minutes of sleep every night.