@adamrensch: Matthew McConaughay is for Matthew McConaughorses
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@briangaar: Accidentally used the elephant emoji so thanks, Apple, for the next five hours of fighting
@Arrogant_Twat: My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I need to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing.
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Please wait to eat your Craisins until we're in the car *5 secs later Me: What're you eating? 5yo: *Mouthful of Craisins* ......Nothing