@Coolhand_Comedy: May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning
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@Donnie_Fairburn: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I brought a girl home last night 911: That's not an- Me: NOW SHE WON'T LEAVE! *swat team busts down my door*
@WheelTod: This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down a Christmas tree unless you intend on eating it.
@BitchyJasmine: Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? His body decomposed.