@Coolhand_Comedy: May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning
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@SonofConway: When tragedy strikes your community, McDonald's will still be there to take your money.
@PaperWash: [Ouijja Board] What is the meaning of life? S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E S-T-A-Y-I-N A-L-I-V-E *Squints at board* What the heck? A Bee Gee board?
@Nickadoo: When a friend dies, I'm not sure if I should unfriend them on Facebook or occasionally "poke" them to see if they're still dead.
@CindyMeakin: What did the boy with no hands get for christmas? Gloves! Just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet.