@SmithWit: May I get your name? Yes, its "I'm The Only Person Here Waiting For Coffee."
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@TedOfficialPage: Everybody is tweeting "OMG I CANT BELIEVE ITS MARCH", I'm like tf' you you think came after February ? February Jr.?
@ingmarbirdman: *bumps into cute girl while typing on calculator* oops! got a bit carried away inventorying my lizards *makes sure she sees the 99999999999*
@MrIceMachine: Automatic flusher Automatic soap dispenser Automatic sink Automatic paper towel dispenser N O W T O U C H T H E D O O R H A N D L E
@notacroc: PETER PIPER: honey i picked another peck of pickled peppers WIFE: [motioning to pantry already full of peppers] peter literally what the fu