@IamEnidColeslaw: may your fathers prosper. may your friends be uglier than you. may your exes get food poisoning
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@awkwardphilippe: [Jedi Academy] Why do you want to be Jedi? [Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army] To keep the peace
@OutOnTheMoors: How does an eyelash, so soft and fine, turn into a cheese-grater when it gets under your eyelid?
@shwebby2: Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
@samalmightysam: Women can detect even the smallest of lies, but on TV they tell them they can lose 20 pounds in 5 days and they believe it all.