@IamEnidColeslaw: may your fathers prosper. may your friends be uglier than you. may your exes get food poisoning
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@i_Lean: Murder is legal if it happens after a morning person says "WELL WELL WELLLLLL LOOK WHO FINALLY GOT UP"
@chris_isloi: So apparently "You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real dad!" isn't of much use when dealing with armed cops.
@P_o_n_k: Using my phone screen as a light, I search for my phone. Behind 1way glass, a bunch of chimps in lab coats write on their clipboards and nod