@smickable: "Maybe a nap will cheer me up!" she said knowing full well she'd wake up feeling like a prisoner of war who time traveled in a sack of bees.
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@TheMichaelRock: According to HR, white people aren't issued a race card, and they'd appreciate if I went back to my desk. *shrugs*
@CynicalCanuck: Am I in the Mile High Club if I jerk off under a blanket on a plane? Just kidding, United doesn't have blankets. Sorry lady in seat 21B
@girlontapas: One of my personalities goes to the grocery store and buys healthy food... Now, I can't find anything to eat in the fridge.