@RandomAntics: Maybe being fat isn't bad, it just sounds awful because we say 'morbidly obese'. Let's switch it to 'cheerfully obese' and see what happens.
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@poe927: Her: You should drink in moderation Me: Moderation?You makin words up? H: You're gonna piss on my lawn again aren't you? M: ...In moderation
@simoncholland: I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.
@jenlaw_11: Netflix just asked me to rate 'Spy Kids 2' and I clicked "I haven't seen it" but I have. I have seen it. A lot.