@badbanana: Maybe don't show me a picture if you don't want me to rate your baby.
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@amfmpm: dry skin? flaky scalp? discoloration? scaling? tongue bifurcating all by itself? hissing? legs fusing together? recently evicted a gypsy?
@InternetHippo: GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We— [pug walks by] GOD: What…the HELL…is that
@davidbfunny: Dear waiter, You messed up my order because you didn't write it down. I employed your strategy while calculating the tip. Love, David
@SoulYodeler: Optimism? Sure, it's worth a try. I don't see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.