@SoPunnyy: Maybe he went out for the knight?
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@5exyunchained: It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
@AHundredElbows: Border Patrol never did chase down that illegal baby food smuggler from Mexico. I heard he was so fast they nicknamed him Formula Juan.
@AbbyHasIssues: This invitation says, “Regrets only,” so I’m sending them a note that says, “My hair throughout most of the ‘90s.”