@AtticusFinch79: Maybe I carry an axe. You don't know. I could love you to pieces...
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@withanewname: [my first day as a financial investor] "I'm going all in on this Acme Corporation. Anybody want a piece?"
@TheHyyyype: Apparently when your wife says "let's make a baby," she doesn't mean assemble an infant from clay and chant The Old Words inside a pentagram
@StellaRtwot: I lit candles & put a trail of rose petals all over the house in confusing patterns so my husband can't find me drinking in the closet.
@Tayallderdice: U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months