@Jenny4ashley: Maybe I forgot to text back. Maybe it's Maybelline.
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@AGreaterMonster: The odds of an asteroid hitting Earth are the same as one bullet hitting another bullet in a duel. Dinosaurs: We'll take those odds!
@Chloestylo: When someone sneezes, I whisper, "Goes in tight.." It's actually German for "Bless you", but it sounds so naughty.
@UniqueDude2: [reading book report] ME: Beyowulf is the story of a guy that turns into an wolf when he hears Beyoncé TEACHER: Wrong. ME: Well, I tried.
@MatCro: [meeting] DIRECTOR: I want amazing CGI PRODUCER: Yes! D: A huge cast P: Agreed! D: Realistic family photos P: We don't have the budget