@Jenny4ashley: Maybe I forgot to text back. Maybe it's Maybelline.
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@TheAlexP: 9 out of 10 therapist agree to just be yourself The other one realizes that's what got you into this shit in the first place.
@LorieGZ: Getting a snowstorm today. They said it would start around noon, it's now 12:02, so already the meteorologists were wrong.
@AbrasiveGhost: [torturing terrorist] [plays EDM] [beat rises] [beat keeps rising] [beat rises endlessly] Terrorist: MAKE IT DROP I'LL TELL U ANYTHING
@suzieQ0007: Co-worker: What's the difference between astronomy & astrology? Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.