@MavenofHonor: Maybe I should've learned to code instead of majoring in Bermuda Triangle Studies
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@Black__Elvis: I accidentally shot my girlfriend on a hunting trip because I mistook her for a deer in an orange vest drinking a Diet Coke.
@codyspencer0: The guy who invented folding chairs lovingly cares for his product which is a problem for his wife who has season tickets to pro wrestling
@shutupmikeginn: Sing me a song you're the piano man / clean out my pool you're the gardener /now light up my room you're a ceiling fan