@Awesomemom10: Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money.
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@murrman5: "Behold, a 3 headed cat" "um, its just 3 cats taped together" "Behold, a 12 legg...*tape rips, one cat runs away*..errr 8 legged cat."
@stats_canada: 66% of Canadians were unimpressed with "The Revenant", or as it's known in Canada, "Pretty Average Day"
@MarfSalvador: Him: Shall we have sex? Her: I want to wait til we're married Him: Ugh fine Priest: Shall I continue?