@Awesomemom10: Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money.
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@Buttija: Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it just becomes a soap opera.
@Diversion50: [at interview] INTERVIEWER: Who inspires you? ME: Peter Piper. INTERVIEWER: What does he do? ME: It's difficult to say.
@GoldenSpirals: The sign at the pool says, Children Under 12 Require Supervision. I guess anyone over 12 is allowed in with only normal eyesight.