@jackiembouvier: Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.
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@Jesssicle: Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone's house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"
@Ygrene: "Please refrain, Angry God, from using the Newspaper of Doom" the Spider King cries as he orders another sacrifice into your sleeping mouth
@jergarl: I don't think peeing on a goose is the right answer.. But on the other hand.. I'm not sure it's the WRONG answer. -Drunk me at a zoo
@Playing_Dad: Me: Wanna hear a joke? Dog: sure Me: Knock knock *dog goes crazy barking at the door*