@joeljeffrey: Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand english ~dogs
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@Thynebear: I imagine Hell is just a place where you watch a montage of people's hands you've shook that didn't wash them after they used the bathroom.
@cambuslad: Someone with OCD visited my TL whilst I was napping and now all my tweets seem to be facing the same way.
@BigBBanter: Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
@maxlavergne: TIP: if ur worried about the airworthiness of the plane you're on offer it a chip. If it eats it you're on a seagull. Disembark immediately