@theDanLawler: Maybe if Red Bull gave me buffalo wings i'd give a shit.
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@SortaBad: "I'm dreaming about mashed potatoes" Oh because Thanksgiving is tomorrow "No, just a normal mashed potato dream like usual"
@bridger_w: FYI, you don't have to be a waiter in order to go in a restaurant and wander from table to table asking people, "How's everything tasting"
@KyleMcDowell86: [in car] Wife: Dont tell ur arm story Me: Im gonna stick to humorous stories 2nite babe *at party* AND THAT'S WHEN MY HUMOROUS BROKE IN HALF
@missekay: Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad? Good times.