@CoopSoSarc: Maybe I'm just drunk, but this toilet looks alot like my neighbors car.
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@astutenewf: My moral compass must run on solar power because it definitely goes to sleep after dark.
@SarcasticAlly12: A waffle is just a more considerate pancake. It's like, here, let me hold that syrup for you in these convenient boxes.
@yassinovic89: Gf: am I pretty or ugly? Bf: you're both hun :) Gf: what do you mean both? Bf: you're pretty ugly.