@F5X11: Maybe I'm not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
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@ojedge: [feeding baby Malaysian food] "Here comes the plane" *makes plane noises* *spoon just disappears*
@HatfieldAnne: A brightly-colored van drives slowly down our street. Kids gather excitedly. It is the Edible Arrangements truck. We are all betrayed.
@SocialExtortion: How to pick up women: 1-approach beautiful lady 2-bend at the knees 3-lift gently 4-oh god she's screaming 5-put her down the cops are here
@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.