@madamezooble: Maybe I'm the good kind of fat like an avocado.
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@animaldrumss: You may have the last laugh now, but we'll continue this discussion later when Im alone in my car pretending to be a stupider version of you
@realHamOnWry: Me: Hey, just got back from a 3 hour walk. Her: But it's 20 below zero outside. Me: I had mitts. Her: Are you crazy? Me: No...Canadian.
@TheToddWilliams: [forest precinct] DETECTIVE OWL: HOO BEAR: I dont know DET OWL: HOO BEAR: I DONT KNOW DET OWL: HOO BEAR: OK I DID IT…I ATE GOLDILOCKS!
@Mikecanrant: Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.