@JohnLyonTweets: Maybe installing Freudian Autocorrect was not the breast idea.
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@HannahAntics: I complain about my kids a lot but I'd be lost without them. Lost in my expensive sports car in designer clothes. Or lost in my clean house.
@TheDailySchmuck: I'm black. I should be able to stick my finger in milk and make it chocolate milk. But evolution is bogus.
@trojansauce: [meeting zac efron at a book signing six years after my wife said she thought he was handsome] well hello there mister home wrecker
@Henry_3k: Sure, Michelle Obama said those words first but Melania Trump had the imagination to say them like an operative in a cold war spy thriller.