@scottsimpson: Maybe it's just me, but reading books on an iPad Mini, I really miss the smell, the heft, the traditional reading experience of an iPad 2.
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@CountGripsnatch: I'm no architect, but I don't think it's possible to build a city on rock and roll.
@murrman5: [during ultrasound] wife: I really thought you were the father me: how could you do this to me? wife's grey and black lover: I told y'all
@awkwardphilippe: Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de brie
@jake_lach: You know you've seen too many walking dead episodes when your hand gets stung by a bee and you start screaming for everyone to cut it off