@BeagirlNJ: Maybe, just once, someone will call me ma'am without adding, "You're making a scene"
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@robin_991: 6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter.
@Shock_Monster: The bravest thing you can do is change & the weakest is to settle for comfort. But, seriously, that remote is really far from the couch.
@LeBearGirdle: Nurse: Doctor this man needs an IV! Roman Empire doctor: OF WHAT? HE NEEDS 4 OF WHAT?!
@Love_bug1016: If only the workout your thumbs get from scrolling on your phone would go to your abs.