@BeagirlNJ: Maybe, just once, someone will call me ma'am without adding, "You're making a scene"
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@ScottLinnen: Wizard of Oz (1939) A hapless brain injured teen is led down the wrong path to heroin, cosplay, organ harvesting and ultimately homicide
@SortaSarcastic: Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [magicians backstage] don't panic guys but I think we really just sawed that woman in half
@AbbyHasIssues: People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously didn't see how excited I just got finding an almond on the couch.