@BeagirlNJ: Maybe, just once, someone will call me ma'am without adding, "You're making a scene"
@aksorojas: I'm scared of buying an iPhone X cos there's a chance mine might get swapped with Brad Pitt's and since we look 100% alike he can unlock it
@blondebombs: I'm a dirty bird.
*shits on your windshield*
@ThisOneSayz: Auto correct changed "absence" to "absinthe" and now my kid's school won't let me be on the PTA.
@RatBatallion: In Canada, Miles Davis is known as Kilometers Davis.
@jharrison9292: OMG! It's colder than a pimps heart out here!