@junejuly12: Maybe money can't buy Happy but it can probably buy Dopey at a good price.
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@iwearaonesie: Me*taps wife's shoulder*Whatcha doin? wife:Meditating me*still tapping*Why? wife: It helps me relax me*still tapping* Is it working? wife:No
@TrueTorontoGirl: Cop: Have you been drinking or are you on any drugs? Me: Whoa, one question at a time, dude.
@shariv67: If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it's working.
@TheMichaelRock: [at interview] Her: In three words or less, tell me why we should hire you. Me: I'm good with numbers.