@marebytes: Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won't be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that's what's been missing.
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@kevinrowe1: Doctor: Between 1 and 10, describe how much pain are you in? Me: Is married a number? That's how I get the good meds...
@Sickayduh: DAD: I can't believe you bought me a house for Christmas SON: I hope you enjoy it DAD: I'm just gonna... SON: Oh no DAD: Live in the present
@rickkondell: The best thing about owning a Smart Car is when it gets dirty, you can just put it in the dishwasher.