@NathanBgood: Maybe my threats will be more effective if, after I mentioned all the people I've killed, I don't say, "in RuneScape."
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@rickolantern: You didn't have to say "he's a male nurse." When you said 'he' my psychic ability of gender discernment kicked in.
@lovemydogduck: My Phone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" and I sent it anyways
@lucky_300: Her: I want to travel the world in the new year Me: I can see the whole universe in your eyes.. Her: I WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD OKAY.
@DevilryFun: Went to buy face moisturizer and the young girl at counter said, "Lets find something for mature skin." And then Security had to escort me.