@Darlainky: Maybe naming my new hippie themed bar Free Spirits was a bit misleading. Lesson learned.
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@pharmasean: My sons kidnappers: if u ever want to see your son alive, press 1. Para Español marque dos Me: ugh i just want to speak to a real person
@illuminatedwndr: AA MEETING Chairman: Please, introduce yourself Eminem: Hi! My name is.. C: What? E: My name is.. C: Who? E: Hi! My name is.. C: Huh?
@sarahyehia82: Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
@TheHyyyype: When you drive, be careful to look out for bikes. Sometimes they're unchained so you can pull over and just take them.