@Darlainky: Maybe naming my new hippie themed bar Free Spirits was a bit misleading. Lesson learned.
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@jdforshort: Laying in bed, watching the ceiling fan spin, my thoughts wonder to 1. Who turned the ceiling fan on 2. Why don't I have telekinetic powers
@robfee: House Hunters: "We want a slide, cheeseburgers, a clown." Realtor: Are you describing McDonalds? "haha no" *3 kids tumble out of trenchcoat*
@TankCesar: My doctor tells me I'm healthy enough for sexual activity...I'm just not attractive enough.
@garbagecoven: *voluntarily spends hours on the internet daily* neato *friend sends 5-min video to watch* do i look like im made of free time or something