@Darlainky: Maybe naming my new hippie themed bar Free Spirits was a bit misleading. Lesson learned.
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@Home_Halfway: BREAKING: Pluto is once again a regular planet. "It was always huge & full sized!" said one dwarf planet scientist with a fake mustache.
@jamieramone: It's the point of the night where I either keep my drunk friend from making an ass of herself or just tape it for youtube.
@NintenDom: We can't deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
@jwoodham: "You have a date? With who?" [Sees a fishing boat] "Uh, her name is Net..." [Sees someone with a booger] "Flicks! Net Flicks! Wait. Dammit."