@Darlainky: Maybe naming my new hippie themed bar Free Spirits was a bit misleading. Lesson learned.
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@stephenjmolloy: Ian: "I baked you a pie to say sorry for backing over your cat in my car." Tim: "You did what?!" Ian: "Baked you a pie."
@BeardedSteel: *stealthily lowers myself from the ceiling into co-worker's office *sprays breath freshener into his mouth before the meeting *retracts