@HrBry: Maybe she's born with zits, maybe it's methamphetamine
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@jonnysun: whenever i see sombody obsessively taking photos of the sunset, i go up to them & whisper "dont worry.. the sun is gonna come back tomorow"
@AristotlesNZ: Him: "What kinda chameleon do you have?" Me: Karma "Karma?" Karma "Karma.." Karma chameleon "How long you had him?" He comes & goes..
@gojarbe: [on a date] me: what's your favorite book series about a big red dog? her: uhh Clifford, i guess me: wow we have a lot in common
@KevinFarzad: Marry someone shorter than you so you can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf.