@HrBry: Maybe she's born with zits, maybe it's methamphetamine
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@clindsaysway: Guy at the Apple store suggested I turn off my phone once a week, so I slapped his face and ran out of the store crying.
@XplodingUnicorn: Door-to-door Christian guy: Jesus loves you. Me: Really? Just me? Him: Well, no. He loves everyone. Me: I don't have time for players.
@mrkoodge: *lowers car suspension to look more gangster* *takes 12 minutes to ride over a speedbump*