@caseytduncan: Maybe someone just charmed the pants off of Winnie the Pooh.
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@jackiembouvier: Substitute teaching 1st graders was not at all the Dead Poets Society experience I was hoping it would be.
@shutupmikeginn: if someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
@djdarrellripley: Me: Hey, look, I can't stay long, I've got a cab downstairs. Her: You took a cab? Me: I'm gonna give it back!