@JennyPentland: Maybe stop asking 20yo beauty queens how to solve problems the government hasn't even been able to figure out in 200 years?
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Told my husband the best way to get help at Home Depot is to wear yoga pants, but I dunno. It doesn't seem to work as well for him.
@GensPlace: We took the animals for a walk and saw a sign: 'Dogging area, please control your animal and pick up their faces...'
@Dawn_M_: I'm crying and wearing a falcon glove so I get sympathy sex from people who think my falcon flew away.
@Stella1070: Started the mower for the 1st time this year.36 pulls & then I passed out.When I came to, yard had crop circles & the beagle had a mohawk.