@michaelianblack: Maybe Taylor Swfit dates Justin Bieber and John Mayer dates Selena Gomez and it's like matter/anti-matter and they all explode?
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@kelkulus: We'd have serious problems if Peter Jackson ever became president. He'd look at World Wars I and II and see them as an unfinished trilogy.
@fantasesay: Beyoncé: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyoncé: Coachella.
@stephenjmolloy: College: You're a very bright kid and we'd like to offer you a scholarship. Ian: I'd prefer a scholarcar. College: We'd like to withdraw our offer.
@AbbyHasIssues: This invitation says, “Regrets only,” so I’m sending them a note that says, “My hair throughout most of the ‘90s.”