@michaelianblack: Maybe Taylor Swfit dates Justin Bieber and John Mayer dates Selena Gomez and it's like matter/anti-matter and they all explode?
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@AndrewChamings: 2015: I can't believe people think the dress is blue and black 2016: I hope the human race doesn't destroy itself forever in violent chaos
@Dani_Feld: Me: I wish for a lightsaber. Genie: Be realistic. Me: Ok, I wish for a boyfriend. Genie: Would you like your lightsaber in blue or green?
@causticbob: If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
@TheAlexNevil: Drumpf's presidential campaign in reverse: an increasingly laughable story of an egomaniac running for an office he couldn't possibly win