@michaelianblack: Maybe Taylor Swfit dates Justin Bieber and John Mayer dates Selena Gomez and it's like matter/anti-matter and they all explode?
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@joejwest: The worst thing about owls is the way they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
@sfreeze6: One time I accidentally listened to a John Mayer song & spontaneously generated 2 thumb rings before it was over.
@flashember: *Wildebeest film crew clatters into David Attenborough's bedroom* ATTENBOROUGH: What the- WILDEBEEST DIRECTOR: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT DAVID
@joe_binkley: I want to be a server at a restaurant that serves fish jelly, just so when people order it, I can say "I don't think you're ready."