@noogscorner: Maybe that neighbor without a Wi-Fi password isn't an idiot. Maybe he's generous. And an idiot.
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@WilliamAder: Was decorating the front yard last night and one of the neighborhood kids tried to deflate me.
@donni: Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best
@AnOrangeSNES: *Hands girl a card that says Be Mine* Girl: Aw that's so sweet *Pulls out a pickaxe* Me: Come on, do it I need some iron ASAP lady!