@noogscorner: Maybe that neighbor without a Wi-Fi password isn't an idiot. Maybe he's generous. And an idiot.
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@KevinFarzad: Just saw someone order a cup of water at this restaurant. Knocked it out of his hand. We're in a drought, idiot.
@OldUncleDaveO: I run from my car all the way to the front door of McDonald's because fitness is a lifestyle
@grammar_c**t: "I love you" can be the most beautiful words you can hear from someone you truly care about, next to "I got this round."