@VerifiedJayy: Maybe the Mayans were talking about hockey
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@ObscureGent: Make your first kiss more memorable by letting them know about your sci-fi themed weapon collection moments before your lips touch.
@Dutch_50: I always regret making a good first impression because there is no way I can keep that shit up.
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: I have zero interest in owning a parrot. CLERK: This parrot is 80% off. ME: I will take 4 parrots.