@weinerdog4life: Maybe the raccoons threw away something very important. Did you ever think about that you big jerk.
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@sofarrsogud: #MarriedPeopleIssues You hang up.. No, you hang up... You hang up.... Noooo, you hang up. They're your clothes. I'm not your maid.
@WiseguyPictures: The worst time to find out your parents are dead is probably right after you've taken a large hit from helium balloon.
@asimplesean: Grease (1978, musical) A highschool girl wins happiness and the acceptance of her peers by changing who she is and taking up smoking.
@CranalBeads: just when my neighbors think they know me, I sprint across their yard pushing a wheelbarrow full of hair