@jazmasta: Maybe the reason that goats are so angry is because they don't have hands to stroke those magnificent beards with while pondering quandaries
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@noog: I wish I had a little robot companion that put his arm out and shook his head at people who tried to talk to me before lunch.
@brendohare: On your first day of prison, go up to the biggest, scariest guy there, and ask him "Have you heard of updog?"
@thenoahkinsey: Gerard Butler: Can I get sugar? Waiter: This is sugar. *GB stands pissed* GB: THIS..IS...SPLENDA!! *GB kicks waiter through glass panel*
@Supafunkadunka: Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn't just painted on.