@joejwest: MAN: What are you doing?
ME: [pointing gun at lake] Fishing
MAN: No way will-
SALMON: [walks out of lake with fins up]
@ninetek: if people paid attention to safety warnings at industrial sites, we'd have way fewer super heroes
@FuckabillyRex: No, I'm not flirting with you, I want your cheddar bay biscuits.
@YesIamThatGuy: I go to McDonald's once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
@ozzyunc: It's 2080. Every living human is named Taylor. Dogs are the size of hamsters. The iPhone 47 is the size of a parachute. Weed is mandatory.
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