@jonnysun: maybe the white peopel who are scared of immigrants are only scared b/c they kno what white peopel did when they first immigrated to america
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@DanMentos: [first date] me: they know me here date: *reading sign on wall* "No Puppetry"? me (proudly): I'm the reason they have that
@GoldenSpirals: Apparently... Border Security does NOT think it's funny when you reply, "I'm hungry" when they ask you if you have anything to declare.
@ShutUpThatsWho: COWORKER: how old is our boss? ME: cut him in half & count the rings CW: doesn't that only work on trees? ME: *over chainsaw noises* HE'S 38
@BikiniBabeLover: "PIZZA" IS ACTUALLY AN ANAGRAM... P - PLEASUREFUL I - INTERESTING Z - CANT THINK OF ONE Z - CANT THINK OF ONE A - "AGG"-CELLENT