@Brianhopecomedy: Maybe this lady is trying to perpendicular park.
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@SarahR_82: Violently swerving ur car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesnt work like it does with humans. Just in case u need to know.
@Bnowaygirl: I think Titanic is fake because, how do they record it when they are all dieing in the water?
@gaynorlsimpson: Therapist: what's your problem today? Me: I have this constant eye roll. Therapist: stop reading your own tweets.
@rolldiggity: Fun Game: 1. Glue dark sunglasses to all pigeons in a park. 2. Poke stranger on the shoulder. 3. Whisper, "I think we're being watched..."