@juliussharpe: Maybe we should stop making ski masks since no one wears them except bank robbers.
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@mdob11: A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
@desusnice: i love that kanye gets into very specific beefs with ppl i have to google but he's nice enough to say both their first & last name
@SoulYodeler: Signs your wife is cheating: 1. Weird cologne 2. Emotional distance 3. Late-night abences 4. She introduces you to her boyfriend
@TheBoydP: Canadians leaving south for vacation are like Americans escaping marriage, desperately trying to escape frigid temperatures...