@MariyaAlexander: Maybe your jeans are distressed because you're wearing them?
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@InternetHippo: Me: I am a taxpayer. I pay your salary. You work for ME Waiter who’s refusing to bring me extra rolls: None of that is true
@causticbob: My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed. So I've sent in my wedding album.